1996 Jun 17 03:15

Rachel is following Maddy through the woods at night. Rachel is slightly inebriate, Maddy is in distress (fighting back tears).

Rachel: What was that about? I leave for an hour and come back to find you in Kelly’s arms.

Maddy: It’s not what you think.

Rachel: You’re still in love with her, aren’t you?

Maddy: I don’t want to talk about it.

Rachel: What was that? What happened back there?

Maddy: He took her, Rachel. He just came over and took her away.

Rachel: She’s his girlfriend.

Maddy: And so what?! He owns her?!

Rachel: No, no. I’m sure she’s okay.

long pause, Rachel continues to follow Maddy’s pace through the woods

Rachel: Are you okay? Maddy, what happened back there?

Maddy: It’s not important

Rachel: It is important. What was that about, Maddy?

Maddy: Are you in love with me?

Rachel: Are you still in love with her?

Maddy: Are you in love with me?

Rachel: I don’t know.

Maddy: You don’t know?

Rachel: No.

Maddy: So what difference does it make?

Rachel: None, I guess.

They walk in silence.

Rachel: You still haven’t told me what happened back there. Did you make out with her? Did you fuck her? Do I matter?

Maddy: Jesus Christ, Rachel. I told you nothing was happening.

Rachel: I saw you, Maddy. I saw you there with her arms around you.

Maddy: So, you’re acting like this because she hugged me?

Rachel: Is that all?

Maddy: Is that all you saw?

Rachel: Was there more to see? Maddy, did you fuck her under that tree?

Maddy: No. No, Rachel, that is not what happened.

Maddy collapses onto a nearby boulder.

Rachel: Then what happened? What’s the matter with you?

Rachel gets in closer, sees a bruise on Maddy’s arm.

Rachel: You’ve been hurt. Maddy, jeezus, what happened to you?

Maddy: I don’t want to talk about it.

Rachel: But Maddy… I love you.

Maddy: And I love you.

Rachel: So, let me take care of you. Let me in. Let me know what’s going on.

Maddy: He took her, Rachel. He came and he saw and he took what he wanted.

Rachel: But what happened to you? I want to know what happened to you.

Maddy: He took what he wanted.

Rachel: Did he hit you? Did Jimmy hit you? Cause I will kill him. I will kill him in his sleep.

Maddy: No, Rachel. No. Don’t go.

Maddy breaks down into full crying.

Rachel: Maddy, it’s okay. I’m here. I love you.

Maddy: But you are not in love with me and I am not in love with you.

Rachel: It’s true.

Maddy: So, where do we go?

Rachel: Let’s go to bed, baby.

Rachel puts her arms around Maddy and they walk off towards their homes.

Filed under: Rachel, anger, jealousy, kelly, lesbian, love, romance, sex

1993 Mar 11 22:57

Maddy and Kelly are sitting on swings in a suburban backyard. Maddy starts to swing.

Maddy: Ow.

Kelly: Are you okay?

Maddy: Yeah. We were playing catch with some nerf balls when he tackled me to the ground yesterday.

Kelly: Are you okay?

Maddy: Yeah. (Pause) Yeah. I’m just a little sore.

Kelly: He better learn to be more gentle with you. I’ll have to kick him in the balls if he doesn’t.

Maddy: It’s a little scary how strong he is, sometimes.

Kelly: What did he do?

Maddy: Well, he didn’t do anything per se. We were just playing. Rough housing. Playing keep away. He tackled me to the ground trying to get the balls out of my hand. It was just this moment of…. he had me pinned to the ground with just his legs. You know? He had his knees on my wrists and his ankle over my thighs. I couldn’t move and he still had his hands free. We were just playing, but it was a startling realization of how vulnerable we are.

Kelly: I’ll kill him.

Maddy: Kelly, we were playing. It wasn’t what he did, it was the realization that he could do it.

Kelly: You shouldn’t have to be scared of your own boyfriend, Maddy. It’s not normal to feel that fear with someone you love.

Maddy: It’s not that he would have done anything. It’s just that he could have done anything.

Kelly: The point is you felt threatened. You shouldn’t have to feel that.

Maddy: I gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Maddy walks off towards home, leaving Kelly alone at the swings.

Filed under: Conversations, abuse, boyfriend, fear, lesbian, love, pain, romance, sex